I think I'm a cat people

Kim was reading an online news story about a drunk guy who crashed into the police truck at a drunk driving checkpoint.

Kim: Oops (pointing)

me: What?

Kim: This drunk guy crashed into the "booze it or lose it" checkpoint. They're doing a "booze it or lose it" campaign.

me: What was it called?

Kim: Booze it or lose it!

me: What?

Kim: Booze it or lose it!

me: Are you sure it's not "booze it AND lose it"?

Kim: (nervous giggling) oh...yeah...I guess that would make more sense (hysterical nervous giggling)...oh! look at this! (trying to distract me with another news story, comparing "cat people" with "dog people")

me: Yes?

Kim: Cat people are 17% more likely to have a graduate degree! I think I am a cat people.

....

Kim: (as I'm typing this) I didn't sound like that...exactly...

me: Okay, what did you sound like?

Kim: I don't know...smart...probly

I'm too cute to do that!

After convincing Kim to do some laundry with me, we went back to the bedroom and I told her to go through the suitcase from last week to see what needed to be washed and what didn't.

me: Okay, you sort through those clothes to see what needs to be washed.

Kim: Why?

me: Well...it needs to be done.

Kim: ...I'm too cute to do that!

In a way, she was right, since I immediately came to post this, and laundry was indeed postponed.

Superstar parking!

Pulling into Brixx for dinner yesterday, the parking spot right by the door was empty.

Kim: Woah! We got superstar parking!

me: Superstar parking?

Kim: Yeah. It means real close. Like a superstar. You see? Good job.

Philosophy of wifely submission

At the gym, we decided to walk down to the cardio machines, one floor below us. I headed for the stairwell which I felt would yield the shortest walk, Kim headed for the other one.

me: Where are you going?

Kim: Well, I was trying to follow you, but you didn't go the way I thought you were going to go!

me: (smirk)

Kim: Oh. I guess that's not really "following", is it?

me: That's going on the blog.

I'm a smart girl

Watching the Rangers game, and David Murphy walked to put 2 on with 1 out in the 6th.

me: time for Moreland to hit into a double play

Kim: but doesn't Napoli bat first?

me: (realizing she was right, that Washington had switched the lineup)

Kim: (smirking) I'm a smart girl. I know about baseball. And a Rangers.

The weather is brr-sies in the bathroom

After Kim got out of the shower:

Kim: it's brr-sies

me: what's brr-sies?

Kim: ...the weather!

me: the weather where?

Kim: in the bathroom!

me: the weather is brr-sies in the bathroom?

Kim: yes! the weather is brr-sies in the bathroom! what's so funny about that?

Pay 'tention to me

Lying in bed, after a busy day:

Kim: Um, 'scue me.

Me: Yes?

Kim: You want to pay 'tention to me now?

Me: What?

Kim: I didn't get enough 'tention today. And I like it when you pay 'tention to me.

Me: Okay.

Kim: Okay...go.

I lost my juices!

We were lying in bed, I was looking at my computer on my nightstand...

Kim: I lost my juices!

Me: What?

Kim: I lost my juices on the ground!

Me: What??

Apparently the cord for her cell phone charger (her "juices") had fallen off the bed onto the floor.

Shovel sunshine

Someone on the Food Network said he moved from Chicago to Phoenix because "you don't shovel sunshine." When discussing whether to watch tennis or go back to that show, there was some confusion:

Kim: ...or watch the guy who doesn't like to shovel sunshine.

Me: What?

Kim: The guy who doesn't shovel sunshine!

Me: What did you say? (laughing)

Kim: You are all confused? It's okay, I'll keep ya!

Sleepy mouth

The Rangers have a huge four-game series with the Angels this week in Anaheim, and every game starts at 10 PM, so I'm not going to get much sleep. Last night, Kim was going to sleep (has to be at work earlier than I do) while I was still watching baseball. Hilarity ensued.

Me: What am I going to say in the morning?
Kim: shrum-shurmer-mursh-ashrumm [her imitation of sleepy mumbling]
Me: What??
Kim: That means, "I stayed up too late watching baseball."
Me: Well, why would I say that other thing?
Kim: Because it gets all confused in your sleepy mouth.

The fancy house. The fancy house of football.

That's where Tech-Baylor is this year. At the "fancy house of football" (aka Cowboys Stadium).

Um, bescue me, but I think you hoggied those guys!

That means, "Excuse me, I think you ate too much ("hoggied") of the cereal we were snacking on, and now there is none left."

That is too much on my ouch head from where you bonk it

...which means, "There is excessive activity on my head which still hurts from the small collision we had earlier"

Cotton-tails

Driving through our neighborhood...

Kim: Don't be too speedy, you don't want to hit the bunnies!

Me: What??

Kim: You haven't seen the bunnies?

Me: No...

Kim: They are little cotton-tails! So cute!

Box of socks

We're still living out of a suitcase since we just moved into the new house. When we were getting dressed to go for a run, I expressed my need for socks.

Me: I need some socks.

Kim (pointing to the suitcase, which was full of all kinds of clothes): Look in the box of socks.

Me: What? What was that?

Kim: The box of socks.

Me: You refer to that as "the box of socks".

Kim: Yeah, what's wrong with that? It's a box of socks!

Sleepier than bugs

After we saw a roach in the bathroom and were unable to track it down, Kim expressed her displeasure toward live, unaccounted-for bugs. The following conversation ensued.

Me: Don't worry, I am much stronger than bugs and I will protect you.

Kim: Yes, but you are also much sleepier than bugs, and what if they get me when I take a shower in the morning?

Smartest idea I ever had:

(after dropping my ring on my face)
me: oops
Kim: that wasn't the smartest idea you ever had
me: what is the smartest idea I ever had?
Kim: I don't know? maybe you haven't had it yet!

Here's a dollar and twenty-five little cents

That means, here's a dollar and two dimes and a nickel, instead of just a quarter.

You are a meany-pants buttons-swiper

I stole the remote control and was tickling her or something. As I was typing this entry, she didn't remember what I did, but said, "I don't know, but you were very mean...pants-y."

You want to be in the righter left lane

That is, the rightmost left-turn lane

It's brrr-sies in the cold

Means, "it's cold in the shade". "Brrr" means cold, and if it's really cold, that's "brrr-sies". Apparently "cold" means "shade".

The Spurs play the Nickers...

Spurs play the Lakers. I can only assume the next word was "lext".

Your tummy. Your outside tummy. Your side outside tummy.

Describing where there was a piece of dryer sheet on my shirt near my hip.

We will have buttons. I will work 'em

This means "We will turn on the TV using the remote control, aka 'the buttons'. I will be the party responsible for pressing the buttons to peruse the different available programs."

My nose is itches

Kim said that today instead of "my nose itches" or "my nose is itchy", then I looked at her, and she started laughing nervously. This blog has been long overdue, since things like this get said every day, usually more than once. We stole this idea from one of Kim's college friends, so maybe we'll post other things on here too, but mostly I just want to keep a somewhat public record of funny things she says when she gets excited and forgets to think all the way through sentences. Enjoy!