Deodorant yesterday

me: Are you all stinky?

Kim: No! I put on deodorant yesterday!

Big head the guy

Kim and I were discussing whether the Thunder would have been better with James Harden.

Kim: Why is Derek Fisher playing so much? Are they all out of someone else?

Later:

Kim: I think they definitely would be better with Harden. But they needed someone who is less big head the guy, you know?

Obtuse

Kim and I were discussing the various sleeping positions that our baby has for nap time on our bed.

Kim: Yeah, she's at a more severe angle when I let her nap in the afternoons.

me: More acute? Obtuse? Isosceles?

Kim: That's not right...

me: You're obtuse...

Kim: That's not sweet. Any of the meanings.

me: What meanings?

Kim: Well, dumb. Also, chubby. That's the math meaning.

me: Ha, chubby?

Kim: Yeah, it's a chubby angle.

The ground

Kim calls all floors "the ground," despite my continued teasing. Today, we discussed who was responsible for the giant hairball in the shower. She suggested that it was my fault, since all the beard and sideburn trimming I ha done had fallen on "the ground," i.e., the bottom of our bathtub.

me: Now this is the ground, too?

Kim: Yeah, anything you stand on can be called the ground.

me: What if I stood on the coffee table?

Kim: That could be the ground, for a moment.

me: What if I stood on the bed?

Kim: No, the bed is just the bed.

Frozenenier

Upon informing Kim that there is a rule against wearing hooded sweatshirts to bed, and enforcing said rule:

Kim: Oh, I am a frozen Popsicle. And now I am even frozenenier.

me: What?

Kim: You know. Cold.

At least half a punkin is a punkin

Referring to proportion of Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that counts as eating one. Not sure if this recursive definition makes the actual size of a "punkin" approach zero or infinity...

Poop juice

I noticed a yellow stain on Kim's shirt:

me: What's that on your shirt?

Kim: Hmm...well, if I'm guessing, someone got me at some point.

me: Ha. You have poop on your shirt.

Kim: It's just the juice, don't worry.

me: Juice?

Kim: Yeah it's just poop juice.