Frozenenier

Upon informing Kim that there is a rule against wearing hooded sweatshirts to bed, and enforcing said rule:

Kim: Oh, I am a frozen Popsicle. And now I am even frozenenier.

me: What?

Kim: You know. Cold.

At least half a punkin is a punkin

Referring to proportion of Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that counts as eating one. Not sure if this recursive definition makes the actual size of a "punkin" approach zero or infinity...

Poop juice

I noticed a yellow stain on Kim's shirt:

me: What's that on your shirt?

Kim: Hmm...well, if I'm guessing, someone got me at some point.

me: Ha. You have poop on your shirt.

Kim: It's just the juice, don't worry.

me: Juice?

Kim: Yeah it's just poop juice.

What was I thinking about before you said anything?

Kim said this out of nowhere. Not sure if this was a serious question to me, or more of zen statement...

Make that room into a room with a fan

me: Also, I had lunch with Robert.
Kim: Oh, how's Robert? Is he going to come over and help you make that room...into a room with a fan...?
me: Umm...I think there may have been a more efficient way to phrase that sentence.
Kim: Yeah...I was going to say something else...but I changed my mind.

I am not a hoggylicker!

That is, she doesn't take overly large licks of ice cream

Pear burps

We ate some canned pears before we went to the gym, because Kim said she needed a small snack first:

me: Okay, ready to go to the gym now?
Kim: In a few minutes.
me: What? I think it's time.
Kim: No, no, no. We just ate. I need to wait before we go.
me: Umm, you had like five bites of pear. I think you'll be fine.
Kim: No, I don't want to have pear burps. Gross.