I locked myself out

Getting out of the car, after pulling into our driveway, I locked the doors to our car before Kim had opened her door to get out. She unlocked her door and got out of the car.

Kim: What are you doing? You locked me in!
me: Oh, sorry...
Kim: It's okay, I locked myself out!

Squeaky flusher

Our pipes make a humming sound after you flush the toilet, and we're not sure why.

Kim: also, another thing we should do is to get a plumber to come take a look at our..squeaky...flusher

He made spider juice all over my shoe

*Wham*

me: What was that?
Kim: I killed a spider.
me: All by yourself? Good job!
Kim: Yeah, but now he made juice on my shoe...
me: What was that?
Kim: He made spider juice all over my shoe!

He's just a noisy guy, I dunno...

After Kim's tummy made a primal growling sound, she turned around a looked sheepishly at me:

me: Ummm....what was that?
Kim: That's my tummy. Again. He says, "Thank you for the gentle fingers" this time.
me: Oh my goodness, that was loud.
Kim: It wasn't that loud...
me: You have the loudest tummy of anyone I have ever met.
Kim: He's just a noisy guy, I dunno...

Gentle fingers parade

I am sitting at the piano in our extra room, and Kim is lying on the floor after doing some cleaning, next to where I'm sitting. She was down there after I had popped her back and rubbed her shoulders a little bit. She sticks her feet up and put them in my lap.

Kim: 'scue me, could you give these feet the gentle fingers? They got left out of the gentle fingers p-- (stops herself).
me: What was that? Were you going to say "gentle fingers parade"?
Kim: (sheepish smile) Yes...
me: Gentle fingers parade? Why is it a parade?
Kim: I don't even know! There weren't any animals in it or anything...

I don't believe in numbers

me: Why are you wrinkling your nose at me?
Kim: Well I don't know...
me: Are those old lady wrinkles?
Kim: No, no, I doubt it.
me: How old are you?
Kim: Pretty young, yeah, probly...
me: Well, what number?
Kim: Oh, I don't believe in numbers.
me: Don't you have a math degree?
Kim: Yes, but math isn't about numbers. That's arithmetic.

You have a full chocolate mouth, and you're trying to steal my Peepster!

I'll let that stand for itself.