Toots

Kim: Are you stinky?

Charlotte: No, I'm tooting. Those toots are stinky. I'm tooting out of my bottom. 

Per se

Charlotte: Does baby brother need the fuzzy snow monster?

Kim: Well, I don't know if he needs that...

Charlotte: He does need it, per se.

This Mia hand

Kim hears crying during nap time, goes inside to check on Charlotte.

Kim: Charlotte, what's wrong?
Charlotte: Somebody knocked my animals off the bed! [Cousin] Mia knocked them off the bed!
Kim: Charlotte, Mia is in California.
Charlotte: Well, this hand [hers] is Mia.
Kim: ... <leaves>
Charlotte: This Mia hand will put the blanket right here.

Bonking

Kim hears a repeated thud and some crying coming from Charlotte's room during nap time.

Kim: What were you supposed to be doing?
Charlotte: Resting
Kim: And what were you doing instead?
Charlotte: Bonking

Have meltdown. Take bow off.

Charlotte had a rough day with Kim. After I got home from work, I got Charlotte up from her nap. I brought her out to the living room, where her bow was on the floor.

me: Charlotte, what happened to your bow?
Charlotte: Have meltdown. Take bow off.

Deodorant yesterday

me: Are you all stinky?

Kim: No! I put on deodorant yesterday!

Big head the guy

Kim and I were discussing whether the Thunder would have been better with James Harden.

Kim: Why is Derek Fisher playing so much? Are they all out of someone else?

Later:

Kim: I think they definitely would be better with Harden. But they needed someone who is less big head the guy, you know?

Obtuse

Kim and I were discussing the various sleeping positions that our baby has for nap time on our bed.

Kim: Yeah, she's at a more severe angle when I let her nap in the afternoons.

me: More acute? Obtuse? Isosceles?

Kim: That's not right...

me: You're obtuse...

Kim: That's not sweet. Any of the meanings.

me: What meanings?

Kim: Well, dumb. Also, chubby. That's the math meaning.

me: Ha, chubby?

Kim: Yeah, it's a chubby angle.

The ground

Kim calls all floors "the ground," despite my continued teasing. Today, we discussed who was responsible for the giant hairball in the shower. She suggested that it was my fault, since all the beard and sideburn trimming I ha done had fallen on "the ground," i.e., the bottom of our bathtub.

me: Now this is the ground, too?

Kim: Yeah, anything you stand on can be called the ground.

me: What if I stood on the coffee table?

Kim: That could be the ground, for a moment.

me: What if I stood on the bed?

Kim: No, the bed is just the bed.

Frozenenier

Upon informing Kim that there is a rule against wearing hooded sweatshirts to bed, and enforcing said rule:

Kim: Oh, I am a frozen Popsicle. And now I am even frozenenier.

me: What?

Kim: You know. Cold.

At least half a punkin is a punkin

Referring to proportion of Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that counts as eating one. Not sure if this recursive definition makes the actual size of a "punkin" approach zero or infinity...

Poop juice

I noticed a yellow stain on Kim's shirt:

me: What's that on your shirt?

Kim: Hmm...well, if I'm guessing, someone got me at some point.

me: Ha. You have poop on your shirt.

Kim: It's just the juice, don't worry.

me: Juice?

Kim: Yeah it's just poop juice.

What was I thinking about before you said anything?

Kim said this out of nowhere. Not sure if this was a serious question to me, or more of zen statement...

Make that room into a room with a fan

me: Also, I had lunch with Robert.
Kim: Oh, how's Robert? Is he going to come over and help you make that room...into a room with a fan...?
me: Umm...I think there may have been a more efficient way to phrase that sentence.
Kim: Yeah...I was going to say something else...but I changed my mind.

I am not a hoggylicker!

That is, she doesn't take overly large licks of ice cream

Pear burps

We ate some canned pears before we went to the gym, because Kim said she needed a small snack first:

me: Okay, ready to go to the gym now?
Kim: In a few minutes.
me: What? I think it's time.
Kim: No, no, no. We just ate. I need to wait before we go.
me: Umm, you had like five bites of pear. I think you'll be fine.
Kim: No, I don't want to have pear burps. Gross.

This bottom was unlocked

At the physics building at Duke, there is a side door that goes in on the lower level. Sometimes, when we're on campus, we park over there, and use that door to go in to the bathroom. There's a card reader there, which would lock her out if it was on, since her ID can't swipe into the physics building. The other day, she was jogging around campus by herself, and fortunately, the door was unlocked. The next time we went in that door, she decided to tell me about it:

Kim: The other day, I was running over here, and I really had to go potty. But fortunately, this bottom was unlocked, so I came in here to the potty.
me: Ha, what? "This bottom"?
Kim: Yeah, you know, that door, the bottom door.
me: "This bottom"?
Kim: It's fine, it's fine, don't worry.

I feel like a shape

Kim is pregnant. I've been running and playing tennis a lot. I commented on this, and Kim did not appreciate it:

me: I actually feel like I'm in pretty good shape right now...

Kim: Humph. I'm glad somebody does. I feel like a shape.

What are you piecin'-a-junk me for?

Trying to find a good configuration for sleeping, I was uncomfortable and had to rearrange. Kim felt this remark was directed at her:

me: Grr, piece-a-junk

Kim: Geez, what are you piecin'-a-junk me for?

--

about a month later...

me: Piece-a-junk...
Kim: What are you piecin'-a-junk for?
me: Didn't you already get a blog entry for that?
Kim: Yeah! Can't get another one! Heh! 

I like arguments

Can't provide context here, but...

Kim: I like arguments. Especially ones where I'm right.