Frozenenier

Upon informing Kim that there is a rule against wearing hooded sweatshirts to bed, and enforcing said rule:

Kim: Oh, I am a frozen Popsicle. And now I am even frozenenier.

me: What?

Kim: You know. Cold.

At least half a punkin is a punkin

Referring to proportion of Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that counts as eating one. Not sure if this recursive definition makes the actual size of a "punkin" approach zero or infinity...

Poop juice

I noticed a yellow stain on Kim's shirt:

me: What's that on your shirt?

Kim: Hmm...well, if I'm guessing, someone got me at some point.

me: Ha. You have poop on your shirt.

Kim: It's just the juice, don't worry.

me: Juice?

Kim: Yeah it's just poop juice.

What was I thinking about before you said anything?

Kim said this out of nowhere. Not sure if this was a serious question to me, or more of zen statement...

Make that room into a room with a fan

me: Also, I had lunch with Robert.
Kim: Oh, how's Robert? Is he going to come over and help you make that room...into a room with a fan...?
me: Umm...I think there may have been a more efficient way to phrase that sentence.
Kim: Yeah...I was going to say something else...but I changed my mind.

I am not a hoggylicker!

That is, she doesn't take overly large licks of ice cream

Pear burps

We ate some canned pears before we went to the gym, because Kim said she needed a small snack first:

me: Okay, ready to go to the gym now?
Kim: In a few minutes.
me: What? I think it's time.
Kim: No, no, no. We just ate. I need to wait before we go.
me: Umm, you had like five bites of pear. I think you'll be fine.
Kim: No, I don't want to have pear burps. Gross.

This bottom was unlocked

At the physics building at Duke, there is a side door that goes in on the lower level. Sometimes, when we're on campus, we park over there, and use that door to go in to the bathroom. There's a card reader there, which would lock her out if it was on, since her ID can't swipe into the physics building. The other day, she was jogging around campus by herself, and fortunately, the door was unlocked. The next time we went in that door, she decided to tell me about it:

Kim: The other day, I was running over here, and I really had to go potty. But fortunately, this bottom was unlocked, so I came in here to the potty.
me: Ha, what? "This bottom"?
Kim: Yeah, you know, that door, the bottom door.
me: "This bottom"?
Kim: It's fine, it's fine, don't worry.

I feel like a shape

Kim is pregnant. I've been running and playing tennis a lot. I commented on this, and Kim did not appreciate it:

me: I actually feel like I'm in pretty good shape right now...

Kim: Humph. I'm glad somebody does. I feel like a shape.

What are you piecin'-a-junk me for?

Trying to find a good configuration for sleeping, I was uncomfortable and had to rearrange. Kim felt this remark was directed at her:

me: Grr, piece-a-junk

Kim: Geez, what are you piecin'-a-junk me for?

--

about a month later...

me: Piece-a-junk...
Kim: What are you piecin'-a-junk for?
me: Didn't you already get a blog entry for that?
Kim: Yeah! Can't get another one! Heh! 

I like arguments

Can't provide context here, but...

Kim: I like arguments. Especially ones where I'm right.

He's all a-grumpypants

Watching the Grizzlies-Spurs game, Zach Randolph was fouled, and he reacted angrily:

me: Can Memphis do it?

Kim: I don't know...ooh! He's all a-grumpypants!

me: Yeah...

Kim: It's hard to do a good job when you're all a-grumpypants.

Meanypants words

As Kim was reaching suddenly for my neck:

me: What are you doing?!

Kim: Just trying to get this fuzz off you, geez...

me: Ha. Then what happened?

Kim: You were a meanypants.

me: How was I a meanypants?

Kim: You said meanypants words.

me: Which ones were meanypants words?

Kim: The meanypants-y ones.

me: I think your logic is circular.

Kim: Yeah. Good.

Crusty double-scoopin' fingers

After we ate nachos at Armadillo Grill:

me: My fingers have stuff all over them.
Kim: Yeah, you were double-scoopin', I saw ya. Using both hands.
me: Ha, yeah.
Kim (reaching for my hand): It's okay. Here, I will hold your crusty double-scoopin' fingers.

Bladder dance

After my tennis match, which was at a public park with sketchy public restrooms, Kim had a humorous description of our baby's activities:

Kim: Ooh, I have to go potty.
me: Oh yeah?
Kim: Yeah, she's really movin' around in there.
me: Yeah.
Kim: And I drank that whole cup of water, so that didn't help the bladder dance.

Small cake

Eating freshly made blueberry muffins:

me: These muffins taste really sweet, almost like cake or something
Kim: Yeah, that's what a muffin is basically, a small cake.

This is meat

Kim walked up to me in the middle of the kitchen, holding a Ziploc back of hamburger meat:

Kim: Excuse me. This is meat!

I think what she meant is, "I have some meat, and I need to put it in the pan, which is right behind you."

Deodorant

me: Um...are you a small bit stinky?
Kim: No! I put on deodorant yesterday!